itsnotaonesie | Hadriel IC Inbox

Hey! This is Peter. Leave a message, you know how this works. I'll get back to you as soon as I can, if I don't break my phone. Big if.

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From:

itsnotaonesie

Yeah, sounds pretty cool, right? I'm recording like everything, if we run into a bunch of aliens, this is gonna be the best documentary ever.

From:

toiletseat_girl

Exactly right, 'cause that worked out so well for the characters in "The Blair Witch Project." Make absolutely certain that the footage is as herky-fucking-jerky as possible so that everyone watching gets motion sickness.

[....George, no, he probably doesn't even know what "The Blair Witch Project" is. he's like, a young'un. have mercy]

From:

itsnotaonesie

Oh man, I've never seen that one. That was the fake like, forest demon thing documentary, right?

[Please, this is Peter "everything I know I learned from movies" Parker. If he hasn't seen a movie, he's at least heard of it.]

From:

toiletseat_girl

Sure is. Scared the shit outta people way back when. 'Cause at first, the guys who made the movie were like "oh, it's real footage, not a fake," and only later said "LOL, it's a hoax." It's not awful, if you don't mind an hour and a half of nobody actors bitching with each other before the creepy shit happens. Oh, or the motion sickness. That shit was real.

[and George has seen just about every scary, spooky, horror movie. and then she died in 2003 and her pop culture references come to a screeching, crashing halt]

From:

itsnotaonesie

I mean, I like when horror stories have a chance to build up before things start to get all... y'know, horror-y. But an hour of bitching seems a bit excessive.

From:

toiletseat_girl

Oh, it was. I was totally rooting for the witch by the end.

But you've gotta tell me if there are any good scary movies I need to see. And about anything Quentin Tarantino did. Wait, you're not old enough to go to Tarantino movies by yourself.

From:

itsnotaonesie

Yeah, I haven't really kept up with Tarantino.

Actually, wait, how long have I been here? I might be old enough, or else I'm getting really close. Keeping track of time around here sucks.

From:

toiletseat_girl

[said in a tone of absolute disbelief] You haven't kept up with Tarantino? Heresy! "Reservoir Dogs," Pulp Fiction," "Jackie Brown," and "Kill Bill vol.1" are four of the best movies of all time. Give me a minute.

[during that minute, the occasional muttered "holy shit" and "what the fuck?" can be heard]

Okay, okay, I'm chill, I'm calm, I'm cool. How long have you been here? Six months at least? Why, think you've had a birthday?

From:

itsnotaonesie

I mean, I've heard of them, I just haven't seen all of them. I did see both Kill Bills, though. I mean, not when they came out, obviously. I was like four.

[ARE you cool though, George? Are you????]

Ahh, let's see...

[hang on he's taking a moment to count off a few months on his fingers UUHHH????]

No, no, I think I still have a few months to go. Wow, has it really been like six months already?

From:

toiletseat_girl

Oh my god, we have seriously got to rent some fucking dvds and have ourselves a film festival when we get to you world. [and in a tone which allows no argument] Where everything will be fine. I am totally willing to find that purple-skinned douchebag and make him take it back. I have my ways.

[which she. . . has never actually used in the wild? she's just heard of what Roxy did and is willing to take a chance that it might work.

NO, SHE IS NOT COOL, THANK YOU.

but she hangs out. THis is fine]

Awww, you're still a young'un. And it has! Crazy, huh?

From:

itsnotaonesie

[He's juuuust gonna refrain from pointing out that she'd probably have to search the endless reaches of space to do any of that, aaand the technology with which to do said space searching isn't exactly readily available on Earth yet. His world and Thanos are his two least favorite subjects so he's just gonna smile and nod. Not that she can see the smiling or the nodding, but it happens!!!!]

Yeah, crazy's a good word for it. Time flies when you're... well, I was gonna say having fun, but I think "pretending you're not on the verge of a nervous breakdown" is more accurate.

From:

toiletseat_girl

[never, ever underestimate the powers of one extremely pissed off Grim Reaper with a grudge. which she has. a big one. huge. like roughly the size of Canada]

Okaaaaay, that sounds shitty. I get why the "pretending you're not on the verge of a nervous breakdown" bit. But. Uh. Fuck.

...wanna talk about it?

[muttered: did that sound stupid? That sounded stupid]

From:

itsnotaonesie

[See it's not that he's underestimating George, it's more that he's not willing to take the risk of underestimating Thanos]

Oh, no, I was exaggerating.

[But only a little bit rly.]

I'm just exhausted, that's half of why I came out here. Gives me a chance to clear my head a little.

From:

toiletseat_girl

[unfortunately, he's dealing with a girl who knows no fear. who's willing to take the chance, no matter the possible danger to herself. after all, she can heal anything and she's immortal. can Thanos say that?]

Okay. Exaggerating.

[she doesn't entirely buy it, but that doesn't deter her from her course]

I. . . guess I can get that. Town is. Pretty fucking crazy.

From:

itsnotaonesie

[what are the chances of her healing after Thanos snaps his fingers and she turns into dust? Being immortal as dust would probably suck.]

Yeah, that's putting it lightly. Out here, all I have to worry about is not getting too far ahead of everyone.

From:

toiletseat_girl

[she'll figure something out. granted, her figuring things out usually results in something that blows up in someone's (usually hers) face, but she's getting better at it!]

Oh, all right. Just so long as you don't start pulling that lone wolf shit all the fucking time. For one thing, I'm used to cooking for four now and leftovers are never as good the second day.

From:

itsnotaonesie

[Peter's money is still kind of on the guy with the magical power glove that has the ability to unmake the existence of half the universe sssorry georrrrge]

Oh God, I could never pull off the lone wolf thing. I like people too much.

From:

toiletseat_girl

[she's not going to do this all by herself. she's going to kick down as many doors as she has to to get some help. long enough to distract him so she can pull out his motherfucking soul and make him take it back.

and she breaths a sigh of relief] Okay, good. [and o shit, emotions. what do?] I've kind of . . . gotten used to having you around. [nailed it]

From:

itsnotaonesie

[there is soul science at work here that peter could never comprehend]

I mean considering how often you've caught me sticking to the ceiling and stuff, I'm kind of impressed that you're used to me being around.

From:

toiletseat_girl

[the rumors she's heard about what happens when you pull out a person's soul out are fucking awesome. she does that to Thanos, he'll do whatever the fuck she wants just because she wants it]

Ehhh, it all gets to be normal and a little endearing after a while. "Oh, Peter's on the ceiling again and there are webs everywhere, must be a day which ends in y."

From:

itsnotaonesie

[Make him file my taxes for me]

Now, I don't actually spend that much time on the ceiling. Only when I'm really bored.

From:

toiletseat_girl

[short form or long form?

in a teasing tone of ] Oh, well, sorry for not being sufficiently amusing. Any tips for how I can improve?

From:

itsnotaonesie

[BOTH]

Hey now, I was totally amused! I think the cold out here has just frozen my sense of humor.

From:

toiletseat_girl

[FINE. SHE'LL MAKE THAT HAPPEN]

As you should be. But that's a good point, how are you not freezing your ass off out there? Unless you're wearing your suit layered with like five other layers.